Two Month Visit

I have a ton to write about so I think I am going to break it up over several posts this weekend so I don't end up writing a novel. We just returned from Quentin's doctor's appointment and it was a successful trip. He weighed in at a whopping 13.5 pounds and measured 24.5 inches. That means within two months he has gained 70% of his born weight. He has grown 3.25 inches or 15% in height since he was born. Both measurements put him in the 95th percentile. I hear the NFL calling and I just clicked over to my call waiting and it was the NBA. Crazy how early they recruit these days. They don't enforce the rules in the NBA so I think it's less appealing. Maybe he'll play both so mom AND dad can retire early. They also measured the size of his melon which was normal size and came in at the 75th percentile. We don't want him walking around with too big of a head. While he was there he also received four immunizations, which were given through the medium of three shots and one oral. The oral one was first and supposed to taste like grapes. Interesting considering the only thing he's ever tasted in his life is milk. They could make it taste like gasoline and he wouldn't know the difference so I wonder who decided grape was the flavor of choice. He didn't like it. He choked on some of it and made a bitter face trying to get down the rest. You would imagine the three shots would be the event of the day but you should've seen this nurse in action. We're talking gunslinging action of the MD world. Quickest needle east of the Mississippi. Within three, and I'm not exaggerating, three seconds she had administered all three shots. Carrie of course, couldn't watch and was holding Quentin's arms down so he didn't pimp slap the nurse so I was intently monitoring the action. I some how missed one. She went so fast that I didn't even see her drop the first needle. I'm not sure if this is for the child's benefit or the parent's but wowsers she was fast. He took it well and cried for a few moments but by the time we got him dressed and in his car seat he was sleeping. Apparently he's all man and took it like a champ.

The doctor did say that he leans his head to one side too much and thought he had strained neck muscles from being cramped in the womb. He suggested physical therapy unless we can get it corrected at home doing some exercises. We don't want him walking around like the hunchback of Notre Dame so we've elected to do the exercises. I've never noticed it and the doctor didn't think it was a big deal. He said he would put the severity of it at a 3 on a ten scale. We'll revisit when Quentin goes back for his four month visit. They grow up so fast... The next big moment will be dropping him off at daycare. I've already stashed tissues (and a fifth of whiskey) in the glove compartment to get ready for the occasion. I figure Carrie will need a least a shot to let go of him and the kleenex, well obviously for the tears. A few more shots on the way home and she'll be nice and numb to start the work day after a three month hiatus and probably a lot happier.

This weekend we are remodeling the kitchen. Ya, it was a surprise for me too. I came home from my trip Thursday night to find the kitchen cabinet on the counter. The cabinets are supposed to be hanging on the wall above the counter. Needless to say it made for an interesting conversation. I thought the wife was taking her Martha Stewart routine up a notch. Maybe too much DIY network being home all day. I found out it collapsed some time Wednesday evening scaring the H out of the dog, the Quinster and the wife. I was thinking lucky it didn't happen at 3am. You would think it's a burglar or something. Some act of God meant that this cabinet, which contains every glass, dish and bowl we own including the infamous etched crystal wine glasses from our wedding with the names Karyn and Andy etched on them did not break. Not a single item was even chipped. Not only that but we had 15 bottles of wine stored in a wine rack on top of the cabinet. They say hind sight is 20/20 and I think it's safe to say the wine rack or rather the wine itself was probably the problem. We have yet to add the wine cellar to the east wing of our humble mansion but needless to say it's in the architecture plans for house number two. That house will be getting built in the year 2046 when housing prices go back to normal and we can cut even on house number one. The screw holding it up was sheared right off leaving it in the stud. So we now have an empty wall and quite a few dishes in various places around the house such as the stove or dining room table or breakfast bar. Not exactly what one hopes to walk in to upon arriving from the frigid temps of Iowa after a trip. It could be worse people keep telling me. Uh-huh. Such as? Let me pose a question. How many of you have ever heard of a kitchen cabinet "falling" off a wall? That's what I thought. "It was a one in a million shot doc..." At any rate what I wanted to do most this weekend was go cabinet shopping. After all the Super Bowl isn't that important. Who said that??!?! Attached is a picture of Quentin when he found out how much new cabinets cost. I concur.

Disneyland for Dad

Well, I found Florida's better version of Disney world. It's called the Super Bowl and its being held in Tampa this year. There are many festivities going around town and since a $1,500 ticket is out of range for us (my dreams of attending a Super Bowl systemically crushed by capitalism) we decided to attend the NFL Experience being held adjacent to Raymond James Stadium where the SB is being played. In a word it was NFLtastic. It was a sunny, warm day (finally!) and we spent the afternoon partaking in the myriad of events offered. The experience was over 850,000 square feet of interactive games, information, food and fun. They had every actual super bowl ring on display so we got to see the Packer's three rings from their SB wins (I, II and XXXI). They had the Vince Lombardi trophy on display that will be awarded to the winner this Sunday. "Weighing in at seven pounds and stretching to a height of 22 inches....no not Quentin but the Lombardi trophy!" Tiffany and Company actually makes the trophy. So there! There is something for the girls if they don't enjoy the hitting.

Quentin measured up pretty well. He got to see if his feet were as big as Champ Bailey's (dad's were bigger) and he got to see if his pipes (biceps) measured up to some offensive linemen (they didn't...yet) and he watched as Wilson turned out regulation football after regulation football only a few feet away. It was actually quite interesting. The price of an NFL football? That would be $130. To watch one being made before your childlike eyes? Priceless. They are hand stitched you know. There was an opportunity to play in a sandbox the size of a football field complete with goal posts. You could practice extra points on a regulation field or kick field goals. You could meet players and get your pictures taken with them. You could drink $8 Coors lights. Sccccrreeeech (record skipping)! $8 Coors lights?!!?! Geez, I wouldn't drink a Coors light if it was a dollar. The NFL needs a new beer sponsor. You could practice throwing a ball or catching one, go through the NFL combine where you get to measure your speed, strength, agility and jumping capabilities. (I was breaking records). Oh, and Quentin enjoyed it too. Too much fun. We need to have more kids so we can go back next weekend!

Quentin was great through the whole experience. It was a ton of fun to get out of the house for that much time and be with a well behaved baby. He even made it through a session of NFL films, which led us to wonder if he could make it through a longer film at the theatre. We put that theory to the test on Sunday by taking him to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" which we thought was a good film. This is the story of Benjamin being born an old man and aging backwards. Very interesting concept and provides perspective on the role death plays with the living. It got the wheels turning a bit and was fun to see. Quentin was a little loud at the start and had to be taken out for the first five minutes or so and then settled down. He made it through about three hours in total of being at the theatre. I think you really need to get out and do the things you normally would or you will go crazy with your newborn inside all day. It's good for all of us to get out of the house and learn to navigate places with a giant stroller. We feel it gives us handicap-like access. "Ya, I can sit here because I have this stroller. See? And do you see that newborn? Ya, exactly so stop harassing me and my kid." Works every time.

It was a great weekend for all of us. It was the last hurrah as I hit the road tomorrow morning. Heading through the Tampa airport should be interesting with celebs, athletes and the like heading through the airport too. Who knows, maybe there will be a bunch of famous people coming from Moline (ya right) on their way to Tampa on Thursday and I'll get to sit next to some billionaire yapping in my ear how great life is. I'll have to tell them what great would be...me in their luxury box for the game on Sunday. (The Suites are going for about $150,000). I've attached a pic of Carrie and Quentin (in the stroller) in front of the Packers section. I thought I got a great picture of the SB roman numerals only to later discover they hadn't put up the X yet so I have a great picture of SB LIII, which won't be happening for another ten years. Maybe back in Tampa? I'm always looking forward...

Coo, Coo, Cachoo

Quentin is really growing up fast. I am upstairs and I can hear him "talking." He's cooing a lot more these days and between that and his grunting he's adding to our family noise level. Throw in a few barks from Lucky and we are one white picket fence and mini van away from being nuclear. We got him a new play gym and I am posting some pics so you can see him checking it out. There is a stuffed toy in the middle that has a mirror on the bottom so he can see himself. Last night he was batting away at it with his oversized paws cooing away enjoying himself. It's pretty neat to watch him as he gains more coordination. Carrie got some video of it but as I am keenly aware of being tech-inept so I cannot upload it to the site. I should take another stab at it one of these days.

We woke up to a frightful sight this morning; a freezing 28 degrees. Yes, that is correct. It was a balmy 28. Who says Florida is too hot? I don't know what's going on but this town is talking about the possibility of snow. The last snowfall was in 1979 where Tampa was in the 20s and got about a 1/2 inch. They had pictures in the paper of a family making a snowman. I am really hoping I don't have to shovel but how interesting would that be? What a photo op! If it snowed I think I would have to go to the beach to grab some pictures. I'm sure Lucky would love it. I guess during the snowfall in 79' there were hundreds of wrecks. Hilarious, how up north 1/2 inch of snow wouldn't even get your attention and down here it shuts down the whole metro area.

Taking Lucky on his walk this morning you could hear the humming of everyone's air conditioner. We don't have furnaces so to get heat you have to use your AC. It was very interesting and incredibly inefficient. It's all block housing down here due to termites so there is a total lack of insulation leaving your house quite chilly when the temps drop. We were all bundled up last night. Quentin used every blanket we had to stay warm through the night. It was a really nice reminder of what winter is like. Fortunately the temp is supposed to climb into the 70s by the weekend and we can get back to enjoying the Florida weather again.

Quentin will turns eight weeks old on Saturday. It's hard to believe we've had him for two months already. Time really does fly by. He's on a pretty good schedule so we know when he will be up. He still seems to get fussy right before bed dragging his poor sleepless parents into insomniac bliss for a few more hours before he laments and allows us to hit the sack. Carrie is growing accustomed to spending her days at home and I think will have a difficult transition sending little Q to daycare. I foresee a lot of tears on that day. She has instructed me not to travel that week so I can help cheer her up during the day. Maybe I'll bring back my mustache. Everyone seemed to find that pretty entertaining. (If you haven't seen it- it's awesome). Everyone should grow a stash at least once a year if for no other reason then to scare your friends and family into thinking you are going to keep it. When Quentin does get fussy I've found he really calms down when you carry him like a sack of potatoes. You just throw him over your shoulder and hang on to his ankles so you don't drop him and walk around like that. He instantly stops crying. I'm not sure why, but it works for me and that's all that matters.

Here are a couple of pics with him playing with his gym, a sack of potatoes shot and his "busted" shots where he is getting ready to take a shower. He looks guilty of something...

Hospitality

Carrie had some friends in town from Cedar Rapids, IA this weekend. They arrived on Friday and left early this morning to head back to the arctic circle. It was nice to have some extra pairs of hands around the house. Carrie got some much needed girl time away from the house, which allowed our older son, Lucky and myself to have some much needed man time. Did I mention it was championship weekend in the NFL? With the ladies visiting Quentin made his first trip to the beach. It wasn't very warm and it was extremely windy so we don't have pictures of Quentin palling around the beach building sandcastles. Fortunately we will have many more opportunities to get him to the beach shortly when winter ends.

This weekend we also received some pictures from the photo shoot that Quentin was a part of. The photographer, Jason Angelini, posted some of the shots on his blog. He put some comments out there as well and I believe it is written from his children's perspective so when he says mom and dad he is referring to himself and his wife. **Update** (I figured out a way to link directly to the pics. You should be able to click the link below and get taken to the appropriate spot). You have to scroll down a ways to see the pictures of us. Quentin is about a third of the way down the page. He is the chubby baby after the near bald baby and then a couple of dogs. I almost didn't recognize him when I went through them because he's so big already. Here is the link if you want to check it out: http://www.jasonangeliniphotography.com/blog/?tag=6-week-portrait-session The first picture is definitely a, "it's Mikey, he'll eat anything pose." Too funny! The last pic is a great shot of our son's schnoz. In case anyone missed those features on mom and dad Quentin is showing his off. He was in the buff for a great deal of the shots and we are happy and astounded to report that minimal bodily fluids were ejected during the shoot. It was nearly two hours long, so this was quite the feat. Carrie and I were both surprised to see how many of the shots turned out. As we contemplate how to purchase the photos we may just buy the rights to them so we can pass them out to friends and family (and the blog). We have a couple of weeks to make our decision.

Here is my quick story of the day from this past weekend. Carrie and I needed to run a few errands before picking up the girls at the airport, mainly buy myself a winter coat for my soon to be travels up north so we had Quentin with us. We arrived home after being gone for a few hours and the girls were very excited to hold Quentin after riding in the back seat with him home. One friend, who shall remain anonymous, was the lucky one who was holding him when she said, "Uh-oh, I think he's going." Yup, nothing new here, nothing to see. We've all had that happen to us before. Then she starts getting a little more serious, "Um, he's really going here. I think he's leaking." She then commits the cardinal sin - maneuvering for a better look. After being a parent for a few weeks you start to learn the limitations and engineering of a disposable diaper. For example if your child is standing on his head that diaper won't hold nearly as much or really anything in comparison to say if he's standing on his feet. A diaper is not air tight like a ziploc baggy for example. Well, he's wearing his new outfit from Grandma S. and because it was cold out that day has two, count em' two onsies on. He also has a pair of corduroy overalls on. Well, the flood gates opened. I mean the dam broke. The one who shall remain nameless picks him up to see what's really happening and it starts running down his leg, rather racing down his leg. It was like a bizzaro world beer bong gone very very wrong. So, this stream of um, we'll call it excrement was hustling down his leg, which is causing panic with our guest, extreme laughter from Carrie who is really good about being there to laugh loudly but poor about providing solutions and some how is never the one getting excremented on. And while this is pouring on to our guests' jeans Carrie is just chuckling away - dare I say reaching for the camera instead of a towel. That would be the only pair of jeans she brought to Florida during this weekend of unseasonably cold. It didn't stop there it kept going to the couch. When it was all said and done numerous towels, a pair of jeans, both onesie's, the pants and a misplaced T-shirt were all Quentinized. It made for a great introduction to our home. They were good sports about it and took it in stride. They cheated - they're also parents.

Here is a pic of the best friend boys, Quentin and Lucky along with the a shot of the "outfit."

Heading to the North Pole...

Well, we have decided to put our snowshoes on, pack our ice skates and soak up as much sunshine as possible before leaving so we can visit the North Pole, which apparently has moved south to Iowa. We wanted an opportunity to introduce Quentin while he was still a baby. He's working his way into 3 month year old clothes and has begun eyeballing 6 month clothes. He's growing like a bamboo shoot! We are going to be heading up there the weekend of February 7th. I'm sure Carrie has some sort of gathering happening. As I understand it there is an "ice fishing" tourney at the river. I believe this is man code for skedaddle for the weekend to a different locale then the wives and enjoy a few brewskies while grunting through the event. For the die hards I imagine there is some actual fishing. From the people I will be joining they only know it's a rumor and have not actually seen it happen. We will stick to our story of how we're going to the fishery in case anyone asks. For anyone else who is not interested in the fishery Quentin will be on display. I'm sure if you contact Carrie she'll let you in on all the girl giggling details.

One quick story for the weekend. I am back at work, which cuts down on my Quentin time considerably so when lunch rolls around I usually grab a quick bite to eat and try to get 15-20 minutes with him before I have to head back to work. Yesterday, I slam down a sandwich so I can spend a few minutes with Quentin. I pick him up and he's cooing enjoying the daddy time. He likes to jump, but you have to hold him a little bit because he doesn't have the balance to stand but he'll push off if you put something underneath his feet. So, he's jumping up and down and then gets this serious look on his face and you know what's coming next. The concentration leads into a sonic boom of relief for him and agony for you. I seriously can't pick Quentin up without him immediately laying some cable. So, you have to give him a few minutes to make sure you get the all clear sign. I do, which in this case was a monumental mistake. We have a leaker! It's like yelling STAT! in the ER, except this is more life threatening. I am running, no check that, sprinting to the changing table in the other room before this blow out turns into a grenade and serenades the house with baby poo. I make it only in time to drip all over the changing table. So, I'm being a good sport about it. I strip him down, take a wipe and then the whole package of wipes giving him a wipe bath from head to toe. I find a new outfit - one that matches, get him dressed all in about 15 minutes. I'm feeling real proud of myself. I only ruined his outfit, his blanket, his changing table sheet thing and that's not too bad. I've only been downstairs for about 25 minutes. I pick him up with his nice clean outfit on take about four paces and he pukes all over his new outfit. You've got to be kidding me. Unbelievable. Carrie?!?! Quentin needs you and I need to get back to work! So I spent my 20 minutes with Quentin of which 90 seconds of it was holding him. The rest would've been waxing him down and changing his outfit. My lunch break isn't long enough for me to change him twice.

Here is a pick of him mimicking me. He likes to do that. It's hard to get him to smile, but when he does it's a good one. He's got some sweet dimples for the ladies.

Who Sharted?

I have taken a certified breastfeeding class and do consider myself some what of an expert after the enlightening three and half hours of class. Let's review shall we? The first 30-40 minutes was spent discussing the different types of nipples out there. I know who knew it was possible to A. take such a class, B. spend so much time talking about such a trivial thing and C. what was the point of A and B again? At any rate we were adamantly taught that nipple confusion was going to be the first major crisis we would encounter with our newborn. Under no terms were we to introduce a pacifier or god forbid a bottle. Taking this advice and not straying from it for the first three weeks we eventually lamented and gave Quentin a pacifier. Hurray! He likes it and it works. We had refused to give Quentin a bottle for fear he would develop nipple confusion and not understand that mom was the possessor of the all important food bags. Well, Carrie started to panic. What if Quentin won't take a bottle and only sees mom as the food? I don't want to be attached to this kid forever! I love the Qster but I need some mommy time too! So, I became the foodbag last night and Quentin took his first bottle. He then puked all over me. Ahh, the joys of motherhood. Bliss, if only for a few moments. It took a little wrangling and some prodding but he quickly learned that dad was just as good at distributing warm unpasteurized milk as mom.

It's been a crazy couple of days. It's hard to keep up with all the fun stuff going on and getting it out to the blog. (Only the important things like mullet sightings get out here with priority). I am hitting the road again starting at the end of the month so it will be a challenge for Carrie to have baby Q and big brother Lucky all to herself for a few days. We'll see how it goes and whether or not she has to call 911! I think it will be a big challenge but it will start several straight weeks of travel for me. I haven't seen the inside of an airplane in nearly three months, a six year high streak of no travel. Can you still yell bomb on a plane or is that bad? You can tell it's been a while because I actually contemplated checking a bag. That would be filed under come to your senses. It hasn't been that long! If you want to see your luggage again you don't check bags! (Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive - DELTA). Quentin and Carrie went shopping for a winter coat for me for the travels to Iceland, I mean Iowa. I think the average temperature starts with a minus in front of it. That's not good. I timed Quentin's arrival and my travels with late fall this year so I was fortunate enough to not have to bring a winter coat for any late fall travel. Now, I'm starting out in January. Hmm, maybe I should rethink that next year. Carrie picked up a hilarious winter cap for Quentin with hanging down ear coverings so he can look like a true northerner. He hates it but looks pretty darn cute in it - you betcha! Hopefully he won't turn into a popsicle when he makes his Iowa debut.

We have gotten two applications for the nanny position. One was sent by a former Floridian who shall remain nameless to protect her or his identity. Apparently the transition from 70s to below zeros (is that how you say it?) wasn't as enjoyable as it sounds when you say it. Who in their right mind would make that transition!?! I know, I know extenuating circumstances. It was a strong application and probably the leading candidate. We were also submitted an application by someone's wife volunteering their retired husband. Hmmm, we'll let everyone quietly make their own jokes about that one. This person even has a knack for playing poker and apparently a serious case of the winter blues. I can relate - that's what sent me to Florida in the first place. I suffered through a one night 48 inch snow fall in Boston and I knew that night it was my last winter - ever. I moved to Florida that Labor Day weekend. That candidate sounds good to me due to the resume entry of poker player. After everyone goes to bed we could get some poker games going and maybe have a cigar or two. Decisions, decisions, decisions. We have not yet reached the deadline so as a lot of you are enjoying highs at -3 feel free to mull over the position.

Since this blog is starting to turn into the most embarrassing moments for Quentin, Dad and occasionally Mom I thought we would keep that theme going. We had a pretty funny sharting incident this morning. For those of you who don't know what sharting is, you are on your own, but I would encourage you to use your imagination and see what you come up with. If that doesn't help, ask your son or daughter. Quentin is going to do some modeling this afternoon for a professional photographer so he needed a bath. He has peed (on me) once getting out of the bath and several times in "get out of the way!" fashion during bath time but there has not been a look out he's pooping incident. Well, during his bath today there was a baby ruth bar floating in the pool. (Caddy Shack anyone)? So there was a tense moment of what is that floating in there? That isn't...? Oh, no it is. Well, that isn't going to help get him clean. How do you even get that thing out of there? What do you put it in once you figure out how to fish it out? I don't remember this being a part of my parenting class. How is an hour devoted to differently shaped nipples but no one explains how to get the shart out of the tub? Yes, there were some bubbles and then the christmas surprise - a shart. I left the conundrum for Mom. "Sorry, hon, I gotta get back to work." So, apparently just like the mysterious appearance of the shart is the mystery surrounding it's disappearance. Maybe the shart fairies just fly by and pick it up. Do they leave money behind like the tooth fairy? Umm, no but it was worth a shot. Enjoy the pics!

Quentin caught a mullet and I don't mean the fish

We decided we needed a night out and thought Quentin was ready for date night experimentation. We didn't want to go to somewhere too nice in case there was a blow out or a temper tantrum that would disrupt a romantic evening for other couples so we decided on something casual. The good news is Quentin passed with flying colors including the wait we endured to get a table. The hilarious news is we witnessed a 40ish male busting out the most fantastic mullet of all time. Now with it being 2009 one would expect to see fewer mullets roaming the dining scene then say 1984 but with this being the south, and Florida at that, the mullet is a fairly common hip look. However, no one has seen a mullet like this since the sweet sweet 80s, which is when this guy must have started growing it because it went down to his mid back and he was not a small man. Think ZZ Top except the beard was on the back of his head. There could have been several squirrels, at least three birds and possibly a partridge in a pear tree hiding in this guy's mullet. We witnessed the mullet guy while we were waiting for our table near the hostess station. We were so over joyed to have mulletman sitting at a table across from us making our date night much more glamorous then the average date. If I was a little less respectful and had a decent camera on my too expensive phone I would've snapped a few shots for the blog. But in the end mulletman will only be seared into my memory for the foreseeable future. It made our evening and it was nice to get out of the house and remember how fun it is to interact with the population again. Working from home and having an infant means it's a serious challenge to work out the logistics of getting out of the house. (No one has applied for the nanny position to date so it's still open - wink, wink).

Today Quentin, Lucky and I had some man time to watch the Giants blow their shot at repeating as Super Bowl champs. Carrie decided to go shopping - imagine that, so I convinced the wife I could "handle" my son for a few hours and told her to go to the mall alone. Very dangerous I know especially without the distraction of Quentin crying cutting the trip short. I am happy to report that no 911 call was necessary and we appear to be able to still pay the mortgage so the shopping damage was minimal. I owe it all to that little diploma on the wall signifying my knowledge of everything there is to know about parenting for one child. Quentin slept like a baby (no originality needed) and I watched my playoff dreams of winning my football pool go down the tubes with Manning's play. At least no more Manning's will win a Super Bowl this year.

Quentin has been a pistol in the mornings. He gets up around 5ish to eat and that's it. He's all fired up from that point on. He just coos and coos and coos at the top of his lungs giggling and smiling all morning long. It took us months to train the dog to sleep in on the weekends. And apparently it's going to take months to train Quentin. I'm not looking for noon here but I am looking for something past dawn. You know, maybe get up after the sun rises!?! Well, at this stage Quentin isn't having it. He's up, which means that by mid-afternoon he's usually out for the count so Lucky and I enjoyed the game with Quentin sleeping relatively soundly through the NFL jungle. It appeared this Sunday everyone got what they wanted except elusive sleep. (By the way, when this kid smiles, even at dawn, you just sort of melt so you put up with not getting any sleep and smile about it, because you can't help yourself).

Speaking of crying I read in today's paper about saving for college. The blurb was under the heading, "Want to get more out of your money?" The question was how much money should you stash away for your child's future college tuition. Here is the not in touch with reality or the recent economic times answer this genius wrote, "A parent should expect to pay 2/3 of a child's education with the rest being paid for by loans. You should have $20,000 saved upon birth (not kidding this is word for word) with 18 years of saving to go the parent should contribute $818.25 a month to cover HALF of the projected costs." ..................oh, sorry I had to pick myself up off the floor from having my first heart attack. Umm, ya, that would be nearly $10K a year and add up to $176,742 + the $20,000 you magically had stashed for your unborn child bringing the total to $196,742, which wouldn't include interest and assuming an annual return of 8%, well let's just say it's well over $200,000. This is only going to cover half the costs? What is going on here? First, I don't want to correct financial genius here but I thought this was going to cover 2/3 of the costs so how did this mighty stash of cash only add up to 1/2 by the end? Well, I thought since we missed the boat I would inform the remainder of the public so they don't make our same mistake. For anyone who doesn't have children yet or would like to have children some day you might want to start working on that $20K. It looks like Quentin better hit the books and go the scholarship route because we just read the article today and are already $21,227.38 behind. Happy saving!

"IT" Happened

Well, it happened. We had heard about it from about everyone we know. Up to this point I had been careful to make sure that it didn't happen on my watch. Like I mentioned in earlier blogs I've been milking cows in the morning and was already at work when it happened but heard from the wife that it did. It all started when we were heading to bed around 11 pm last night. I took Quentin into bed so we could watch a little TV before hitting the sack. He was waiting up for his late night munchies snack. When Carrie came in I went to hand him off and... "What does he have all over him? What is on my arm? (It's dark except for the TV). That's not poop is it? Oh, man, he pooped on me!?! Geez, I am exhausted here. Ahh, man. And it's on the sheets...again!?!? Man, so you're telling me we have to change the sheets right now? Big, big sigh. Alright, I'll do it. Well, someone needs to change the kid. " Sweet, changing a poopy diaper actually beats the chore of stripping and changing the sheets. That wasn't the surprise. Well, it was a surprise but not the crescendo I'm attempting to build up to. Carrie comes up to my office to tell me the sheets need changing again. What is going on here? She's got a smile. Ready for it? He peed on his face. He'll hate me for writing this, but he pooped on me, so fair is fair. Apparently, the wife was changing him and not paying attention. (There is a lot of lack of sleep going on around here so mistakes are frequent). She was holding his legs up situating the diaper under him when "it" happened. So, the lil' guy got the old golden shower. I offered to call social services on his behalf but relented since so many people told me "it" would happen. He popped his cherry so to speak. Hopefully, he wont' be scarred for life.

Quentin went shopping yesterday at Babies R' Us. I just hope all this shopping doesn't rub off on him. The last thing I need is another shopper in the house. Day care expenses alone mean no one can afford to shop. We've had to switch to all generic brand foods to just to get by. Has anyone seen the price of beer these days? Geez, I went to the store last night for an adult beverage to enjoy the national championship game and walked out. I can't afford beer? What is the world coming to? I really hope Obama's stimulus package gets passed in a hurry. My paycheck needs to get bigger. What we really need is a wholesale beer store. Anyone interested in a starting a new business? How about generic beer. Do they have such a thing? Can I get Publix brand beer? I read yesterday that the only profitable stocks in the S&P 500 were alcohol related. Hmmm, that's how you know it's bad. I'll tell you times are tough in Tampa. For the last 50 years, since opening, Busch Gardens as in Anheiser Busch, served free beer at their hospitality tent. Well, a company from Belgium bought them out ($5B - must be nice) and they came to town and the first thing they did was cut out the free beer. No free beer!??! They also raised ticket prices twice in the last 2 months. Twice!?!? Are they trying to run this place into the ground? Anyway boycott foreign owned Busch and buy foreign owned Miller. I'm sure if Miller ran an amusement park (the whole state of Wisconsin) they would keep the free beer flowing. I've been to Summerfest and it's true.

I 'm done ranting. I wanted to place an ad or rather the wife wanted to use this forum to place an ad so once again I'm doing the dirty work. We are looking for a nanny with some light housework. If anyone would like to come get out of the cold and live in sunny Florida to nanny Quentin a little and possibly pick up the never ending piles of everything piling up everywhere we would house you. Doesn't that sound peachy? I wouldn't consider myself a clean freak but I would say I am well organized and there is a place for everything and everything in its place. It's unbelievable how adding an 8 pound addition to your family suddenly trashes the place. And I mean it's trashed. I can't figure out how the place gets filthified so fast. You don't realize how much cleaning and picking up you do as a single married couple but apparently all our free time was spent cleaning and now it's spent with Quentin, which means we are desperately trying to figure out a way for this stuff to magically happen on it's own. We would be willing to hire on a weekly rotating basis if people just wanted to come out of the cold for a week at a time. Sounds like a pretty solid offer....

Well, we had the weigh in for Quentin. Carrie had to go to the doctor so she brought Quentin and asked if we could weigh him. The nurses loved him and showered him with doting attention. That kid is going to get the girls, let me tell you. He weighed in at 11 pounds even. That's a weight gain of 2 pounds and 14 ounces since he was born. I have no idea if that's good or not but I am posting a picture of his milk gut. Look at that thing? He's got a total muffin top! I could post the picture of his old man sitting next to him letting his milk, I mean beer gut hang out but I don't think anyone wants to see that. We're twins! That means he's put on nearly 37% of his born weight. NFL here we come. If he can keep that going for the next 18 years he could skip college all together and go straight to the pros. There was a comment that he could be a tight end if he keeps growing and I would be okay with that if it was in the proper offense. He needs to be a go-to-TE like a Gates for SD or a Witten dare I say it for Dallas (make me puke - chokers). I don't even think I would let Romo come home any more if he keeps playing like that. Who wants their town hero to be the national face for choking? Not me. He can stay in Burlington and keep his country/iconic/model/reality star girlfriend. But 11 pounds! With this kind of growth he would weigh a little over 73 pounds by the time he turns one. That would be awesome, wouldn't it? As long as he wasn't massively obese at three feet tall and grew taller, we would be in great shape! I don't know how much one year old children weigh but I doubt he keeps growing at that rate. I've looked in the closet and have seen his clothes. We're going to need a lot more hand-me-downs if he's going to continue at this rate. I'll provide our address if you're interested.

Enjoy the picture. This one says I'm just bananas over mommy. You know no one is buying I'm nuts for Dad shirts or my dad is tops or orange you glad this guy is my dad?. What's up with that?

Alarm Clock

Well, the good news is we don't have to wake up to an annoying alarm clock any more with that horrid buzzer in the morning. The bad news is we are now waking up in time to milk the cows and we don't own any cows. Junior has been consistently providing us with a blissful 5 am wake up call like clockwork every morning. Let me get off subject for a moment...Carrie was working on the baby book getting Quentin's stats/pictures and the like in there yesterday when she came across an inauspicious question - How much weight did daddy gain during the pregnancy? Unfair! I mean I was simply trying to go with the flow to make sure the wife and I were keeping up as a couple. We wouldn't want the relationship to get lopsided, so to speak. There were several weekends in college where we took 3-4 days and held "weight gaining" contests over a weekend to see who could pack on the pounds most efficiently and I thought this pregnancy thing was similar. She goes up, I one pound-her, similar to one upping. Well, next thing you know she goes into the hospital and automatically loses 15 pounds before she leaves. I went into the hospital and only lost some hair (most of it went grey). I repeat, unfair! And this is what leads me back to the 5 am wake up call. Granted work I'm sure would love for me to go into the office but since my commute is taking 17 stairs I'm not so sure I want to work 13 hours a day so I started going to the gym. I figure what else am I going to do at 5am? So be on the look out for a slimmer sleep walking dad out there. I need to live longer anyway to save for Quentin's tuition.

Quentin is getting huge. I came down for lunch today and saw him sitting on Carrie's lap and he looked ginormous, like a legitimate child instead of the 5 week old he actually is. I had to stop and take a picture. Unbelievable. I'm telling you that kid weighs 12+ pounds already. He's like 3 feet long. Three feet! That's already half way to a high school basketball career and 4 feet short of an NBA center. When he goes out for football in the peewee league they are going to have to move him up to the JV squad by sheer size alone (not to mention the talent - oh will he have talent!!). He's going to be a dominate force. I don't think the posted pictures due him justice. My mom came to town expecting a disproportionate head because we keep taking extreme close ups of his face. I actually think she was slightly disappointed when she realized he had a normal size head for his baby body when she saw him in person. So if anyone is wondering his head is a natural size for his body and no, I'm not bias, it's the truth.

Going to work has been different for both Carrie and me. I came home (down stairs) yesterday after work and picked him up and he puked down my back. I moved to the couch and laid down to relax and had him on my chest and he puked on my chest. What's going on here? I've been hanging out with him for about 3 minutes and he ruined both sides of my shirt. That's another key. You don't want to be too quick with changing a diaper or your clothes or his clothes because you might be changing all those things again in another 5 minutes. It's better to give him a good 10 minutes or so to make sure he's done destroying whatever it is he's focused on at the moment. But if you wait too long you get a blow out. It's a science. A lot of trial and error to find the happy medium, which we're hoping we'll eventually find.

Carrie and Quentin just got back from a walk in the sunshine. She used Quentin's carrier that Mr. & Mrs. Sloppy got us - Quentin loves that and it's nice for Carrie's hands to be free so she can scrub the floor and what not. Just kidding. She was walking the dog! She needed a hand for the leash and for the record I already walked him at dawn this morning. I was asking her if there was anything I should add to the blog. She's like, "tell them we went for a walk." Oh, Carrie. See, that's why she's not writing this blog. I tried to explain to her that if I wasn't there I can't describe the walk very well and she said so what it's good stuff. Oh, boy. Obviously, Carrie needs to appreciate the kind of sarcasm that goes into a quality blog. A few more years married to me and hopefully more of it will rub off. If I can't talk about how the dog ran off while the leash was attached to Carrie's wrist dragging her across three blocks while the kid was strapped to her going after one of the many stray cats in the neighborhood then it won't be entertaining. So, I can't help anyone out. Carrie went for a walk.

I did think the whole family got kidnapped for a moment including the dog. I went downstairs to grab a glass of water and it was eerily quiet like our house suddenly turned into a funeral parlor (great recession proof job). Not a single noise. No tail wagging happy to see my downstairs for play time. No son screaming about how he's not getting enough to eat. No wife asking for my help to grab something out of reach. Nada, zip, zilch, nothin'. I locate the car seat, so they didn't drive anywhere. I locate the stroller so they couldn't have rolled anywhere. I went out to the patio and there was no one sunbathing, not even the dog. I actually got concerned. Carrie doesn't carry her cell phone so a quick call to that yielded a ring five feet away. I was already thinking about how I would be the prime suspect in my family's disappearance when I figured I would give her a good 30 minutes to turn up. Sure enough all smiles and tails wagging came through the door not 10 minutes later. As Carrie said, "we went for a walk." That's her story for today and she's sticking to it.

The picture is of Quentin, sitting up, in his new "designer wear" that was donated to the Quentin Foundation of high end fashion.

Football Player

Well, my MANternity leave is over so I must head back to the office tomorrow. I think it will be a challenge to get back into work mode after having so much time off. So before I head back I wanted to catch up on the blog and get some pictures uploaded from the holidays. We were fortunate to have some overlap with our parents so we took the opportunity to grill some braats and burgers and take some family pictures while Quentin is still a little guy. I've attached the extended family pictures. Unfortunately my brother and sister were unable to make it so we are missing a few on my end but Carrie's siblings made it down. I also decided to see if Quentin can hold a football. His hands are big so I thought it's never too early to get him going. I believe Tiger was swinging a golf club around 2 years old so I figure why not. Ya, well, his hands may be big but as you can see a football is about the size of him so I'm going to have to be a wee bit more patient until he starts throwing the pigskin around. I also threw one out there of Baby Favre. As you can see it's tough work being Favre all day and he needed to take a breather to catch up on some Zzzzzzzz.

Quentin has turned mighty crabby the last few days. He goes from happy-go-lucky to angry and wailing in an instant. We're not sure what is setting him off but his mom says he takes after his dad - total lack of patience. She thinks we're not giving him exactly what he wants in a timely fashion. There are only about 3 things you can give him; food (can't help ya there buddy), change my diaper please (can do) and soothe me already (this leads into about 10 more options). It takes you a while to run through the possibilities. In the mean time he's patiently wailing away so as you don't get mixed up about which option he is looking for. You'll know it when he is satisfied because the room will be filled with a calm similar to when we didn't have kids. It was a long time ago (36 days), but not forgotten. He has been especially crabby near that 10pm hour. That would be the same hour mom and dad want to go to bed so last night we tried something different and gave him a late night bath and applied a lotion that is supposed to be soothing we received as a gift from a co-worker. Last night? Blissful uninterrupted sleep. We would like to thank Stacey at work for the sleep potion. Where can I get a case of that stuff? Quentin's sudden sleepiness last night worked out well so dad could watch the Indy/San Diego match up, which he correctly picked by the way, through it's entirety without interruption. And it was a great game with San Diego winning in OT.

I forgot to add a few thoughts. We took Quentin car shopping yesterday. Don't you remember how horrible it was when you were a kid and your parents would drag you to such an event? Well, we thought we would do it before he could remember. He was really good too. We are thinking about taking a major road trip up north this summer and wanted a bigger vehicle. We don't think Betsy or Black Beauty would make it to Wisco with Quentin and Lucky in the same seat. Maybe I should rephrase and say Quentin probably couldn't survive that drive with Lucky in the back seat. We have been wondering if it's possible to get a dog saddle. Right now Lucky is the perfect size for Quentin to ride around on. We'll get a little saddle made, get Quentin a helmet and presto we've got great entertainment for mom, dad and excellent video for the rest of the world. I can see the hits coming on Youtube - 1 million, 2 million, 3. I don't think Lucky will be at such a staggering height for too long so we want to take advantage now.

We could probably take straight video of Lucky in the car and get a few million hits. His routine is get asked, "Wanna go for a ride? Who wants to go for a car ride? Who's a lucky dog?" Which results in one freaking out dog running around the house desperately looking for someone to open an outside door so he can haul out to the car, which he does tail wagging like its the last wag, waiting for someone to open the car door. Any door will do, whether it's the driver side door, which makes for more entertainment when you try to explain to the 90 pound dog that he can't sit there if he actually wants the car to move, to the passenger side door, which results in him clumsily climbing over the armrest into the backseat. Once in place in the backseat he wants to get as much of his body outside regardless of the opening. That might be the moon roof for example, where he will throw his paws on the front seats' arm rest and stick his shoulders and everything north of that out the moon roof. The other vehicles love that one, especially at stop lights. When the back windows are down he puts his paws on them and lunges the rest of himself out the window. He's been known to operate the automatic windows in a downward fashion if the child-locks aren't on so we need to be diligent or we'll have a scene similar to that of Marley and Me with Lucky running on the pavement while one of us desperately hangs on trying not to lose him. When the car is in motion he just runs across the backseat going from one window to the other, to the other, moon roof, back window, other back window until you finally get to your destination. Because of this behavior the dog hasn't been in the car for longer then a 30 minute car ride and let me tell you that's the longest 30 minutes for the adults you'll ever have in the car. Carrie just sits there and says, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Because she can't take the dog freaking out. Okay, I can't take the dog freaking out either, which brings us full circle and back to the car dealership. We need a car where we can safely lock the Luckster up in the back so he doesn't repeatedly pounce on our soon-to-be famous NFL quarterback son. I'm sure Quentin can take a hit. He is a tough guy after all, but relentlessly torturing him for a car ride 20+ hours long might appear as cruel and unusual punishment. Thus, we have decided a bigger vehicle will be necessary.

No offense to all the windstar drivers out there but a mini-van there will not be in my driveway. I don't care if we have 17 more kids (Carrie may have something to say about that) but there will never be a mini-van titled in my name. I can't do it. It brings back far too many painful memories of childhood being tooled around in a wood-sided maroon "caravan." They were all the rage when I was a kid. I will be honest - I'm a station wagon guy. We're getting a wagon and then we're putting rims on it. Alright, I might not go that far, but definitely some dubs. Nothing says parenthood like a set of dubs on a volvo station wagon. Actually we're looking at crossovers that will seat 7-8. I guess that means there must be more children on the way or we are really going out of our way to accommodate the dog. It looks like Betsy will go up for auction to make room for some really nice gas guzzler that will take the place of one of our beloved hondas. Please gas, stay at $1.59. If you come across one such vehicle let us know as we are in the market and prepared to pull the trigger. More importantly and to the point of my long winded story was that we are heading north, provided we successfully purchase said vehicle to visit friends and relatives far and wide. Be prepared to meet the beast of the south (Lucky) and our little prince charming (Quentin) for we are invading a town near you. Enjoy the pics!

Happy New Year

I was just catching up on some football or more like watching the Big Ten continue to embarrass themselves (except for Iowa). Who knew Iowa was the powerhouse of the Big Ten? We tried to put Quentin's contraband Iowa gear on him today but he wasn't haven't it crying every time we got near him with the outfit. We finally got the hat on him and his response? He puked about three feet off the couch. Now if there were any doubts we know for sure he is definitely my son. I almost puked having to watch mom put the hat on him but some how managed to keep my lunch down. Iowa did, however, have a nice showing. They were the only Big Ten team to actually get off the bus and show up for the game so that was refreshing.

Quentin had a nice New Year's Eve, which doubled as Christmas at pseudo-Grandma/pa Spiegelhoff's Florida residence (our upstairs) so we got him fed and ready to open gifts around 8:30 last night. He got an awesome pair of Chuck's (black) from his Aunt Marieke and several much needed books as well from his Aunt and cousins in the LG. The Chucks were a size 4 and the word on the street is Auntie M was worried they would be too large for Mr. Big Foot. Well, he does have big feet but he's a ways away from a size 4. They are about double the size of his feet but I decided we're stuffing some paper in the end of those things and getting them on him as soon as possible. Too cool. They will go great with the mohawk he's sporting. My folks also got him some outfits and quite possibly the most important book he could own "My First Wisconsin Words, GO BADGERS!" The book contains red & white, Bascom Hall, the Terrace (beer drinking paradise), Bucky, On Wisconsin, UW Marching Band, the all important Camp Randall Stadium (where we will spend many Saturdays), and most importantly his college of choice (if he wants mom and dad to pay for it) University of Wisconsin. Seriously, could anyone think of more important words? Well, maybe Mom and Dad and possibly Send more money but after that this book has it all.

We are getting old and we did have our most tame NYE of all time but still managed to make it until midnight. My parents also (surprisingly) made it until midnight and I think were grateful that midnight is an hour earlier in the eastern time zone. We grilled some new york strip steaks with some cheesy potatoes and string beans while having a few drinks on our patio until the mosquitoes got the best of us. We watched the ball drop with Quentin and Dick Clark, whom we all agreed should quietly ride off into the sunset. Not looking too good, Dick but to each their own. For a solid 30 minutes we pondered whether anyone actually likes Ryan Seacrest. Does anyone? What does anyone see in this guy? Then we realized Carson Daily was on the other channel and took another 30 minutes pondering how he got on TV. Apparently, they will give anyone a job hosting NYE these days. My parents were crying for the mute button, which I happily obliged and we settled on watching a rerun of Letterman until we got within five minutes of the ball dropping and then suffered through Dick Clark attempting to count down from 20, which he did two seconds behind the actual clock. Better late then never. Him making out with his wife was a nice touch at midnight. We were then saddled with the disturbing fact that more people kiss their pets at midnight then their significant others. Hmm, well I do have a strong affection for Lucky, but decided my wife was a better kisser and smooched her at midnight, defying the terrifying statistics. What a year, 2008!

Everyone coming to visit was great. It's nice to have family come down out of the northern chill and see why we have had such a hard time leaving tropical Tampa. There were a few blow outs - Quentin loves letting Grandma have it. He actually pooped our bed the other night. I never thought I would have to change the sheets because someone pooped in our bed but it happened. Carrie snuggled Quentin in between us the other night and he let out a monster, which woke me up thinking that couldn't have been Carrie could it have? I mean I understand her body is going through a lot of changes but she is still a lady right? Well, it turns out it was him. I was so tired and desperately wanted to roll over and go to bed but the stench, oh the humanity! I couldn't take it so I took one for the team and got up to change him when I realized he blew out the diaper, his clothes, the blanket and uh-oh the sheets, the mattress pad (please not the actual mattress!?!?!?!?) and thank the poop gods it didn't soak through on to the mattress. I feel like there are a lot of poop stories in this blog but this is what no one tells you. I know plenty of people with kids and I have yet to hear anyone tell me how their newborn pooped their bed, but I'm sure it has happened so if this blog is a little tweeny you won't get any apologies here. If I knew my kid was going to poop through 6 inches of diapers, clothing, blankets, sheets and mattress pads I would've put some tin foil down or something. We dudes need to know this stuff! So fellas, if you've got a new born saran wrap your valuables.

Let me tell you about the grunting. This kid loves grunting. He is probably actually clocking more shut-eye hours but he makes so much more noise grunting through his dreams that I think I am getting less sleep. He grunts loudly and constantly in his sleep, when he is hungry and a great deal of the time while he is eating. Carrie says it's his man instinct. (They all love the boobs). Alright, I won't complain about that but buddy, tone it down in the wee hours will ya? Dad, is dying here. I am heading back to full time work on Monday and have already carved out a healthy piece of real estate on the couch so I can catch 2 consecutive hours of sleep. When he's eating it's hilarious and kind of funny all the time but still I want to sleep so bad. I know Carrie has it worse then me and don't know how she does it. The little gruntster rolled over for Grandma and Grandpa this evening (and I caught it on video) grunting the whole way. He's going to be walking way early and we're not sure if we should be proud or very afraid of all that Independence. At least he is performing upon command. Again, those obedience classes for Lucky coming in so handy. We gotta hit the sack to take Grandma/pa to the airport before dawn. I don't need an alarm clock I've got the lil' gruntster set for the 4:45 am and he's always on time.