"IT" Happened

Well, it happened. We had heard about it from about everyone we know. Up to this point I had been careful to make sure that it didn't happen on my watch. Like I mentioned in earlier blogs I've been milking cows in the morning and was already at work when it happened but heard from the wife that it did. It all started when we were heading to bed around 11 pm last night. I took Quentin into bed so we could watch a little TV before hitting the sack. He was waiting up for his late night munchies snack. When Carrie came in I went to hand him off and... "What does he have all over him? What is on my arm? (It's dark except for the TV). That's not poop is it? Oh, man, he pooped on me!?! Geez, I am exhausted here. Ahh, man. And it's on the sheets...again!?!? Man, so you're telling me we have to change the sheets right now? Big, big sigh. Alright, I'll do it. Well, someone needs to change the kid. " Sweet, changing a poopy diaper actually beats the chore of stripping and changing the sheets. That wasn't the surprise. Well, it was a surprise but not the crescendo I'm attempting to build up to. Carrie comes up to my office to tell me the sheets need changing again. What is going on here? She's got a smile. Ready for it? He peed on his face. He'll hate me for writing this, but he pooped on me, so fair is fair. Apparently, the wife was changing him and not paying attention. (There is a lot of lack of sleep going on around here so mistakes are frequent). She was holding his legs up situating the diaper under him when "it" happened. So, the lil' guy got the old golden shower. I offered to call social services on his behalf but relented since so many people told me "it" would happen. He popped his cherry so to speak. Hopefully, he wont' be scarred for life.

Quentin went shopping yesterday at Babies R' Us. I just hope all this shopping doesn't rub off on him. The last thing I need is another shopper in the house. Day care expenses alone mean no one can afford to shop. We've had to switch to all generic brand foods to just to get by. Has anyone seen the price of beer these days? Geez, I went to the store last night for an adult beverage to enjoy the national championship game and walked out. I can't afford beer? What is the world coming to? I really hope Obama's stimulus package gets passed in a hurry. My paycheck needs to get bigger. What we really need is a wholesale beer store. Anyone interested in a starting a new business? How about generic beer. Do they have such a thing? Can I get Publix brand beer? I read yesterday that the only profitable stocks in the S&P 500 were alcohol related. Hmmm, that's how you know it's bad. I'll tell you times are tough in Tampa. For the last 50 years, since opening, Busch Gardens as in Anheiser Busch, served free beer at their hospitality tent. Well, a company from Belgium bought them out ($5B - must be nice) and they came to town and the first thing they did was cut out the free beer. No free beer!??! They also raised ticket prices twice in the last 2 months. Twice!?!? Are they trying to run this place into the ground? Anyway boycott foreign owned Busch and buy foreign owned Miller. I'm sure if Miller ran an amusement park (the whole state of Wisconsin) they would keep the free beer flowing. I've been to Summerfest and it's true.

I 'm done ranting. I wanted to place an ad or rather the wife wanted to use this forum to place an ad so once again I'm doing the dirty work. We are looking for a nanny with some light housework. If anyone would like to come get out of the cold and live in sunny Florida to nanny Quentin a little and possibly pick up the never ending piles of everything piling up everywhere we would house you. Doesn't that sound peachy? I wouldn't consider myself a clean freak but I would say I am well organized and there is a place for everything and everything in its place. It's unbelievable how adding an 8 pound addition to your family suddenly trashes the place. And I mean it's trashed. I can't figure out how the place gets filthified so fast. You don't realize how much cleaning and picking up you do as a single married couple but apparently all our free time was spent cleaning and now it's spent with Quentin, which means we are desperately trying to figure out a way for this stuff to magically happen on it's own. We would be willing to hire on a weekly rotating basis if people just wanted to come out of the cold for a week at a time. Sounds like a pretty solid offer....

Well, we had the weigh in for Quentin. Carrie had to go to the doctor so she brought Quentin and asked if we could weigh him. The nurses loved him and showered him with doting attention. That kid is going to get the girls, let me tell you. He weighed in at 11 pounds even. That's a weight gain of 2 pounds and 14 ounces since he was born. I have no idea if that's good or not but I am posting a picture of his milk gut. Look at that thing? He's got a total muffin top! I could post the picture of his old man sitting next to him letting his milk, I mean beer gut hang out but I don't think anyone wants to see that. We're twins! That means he's put on nearly 37% of his born weight. NFL here we come. If he can keep that going for the next 18 years he could skip college all together and go straight to the pros. There was a comment that he could be a tight end if he keeps growing and I would be okay with that if it was in the proper offense. He needs to be a go-to-TE like a Gates for SD or a Witten dare I say it for Dallas (make me puke - chokers). I don't even think I would let Romo come home any more if he keeps playing like that. Who wants their town hero to be the national face for choking? Not me. He can stay in Burlington and keep his country/iconic/model/reality star girlfriend. But 11 pounds! With this kind of growth he would weigh a little over 73 pounds by the time he turns one. That would be awesome, wouldn't it? As long as he wasn't massively obese at three feet tall and grew taller, we would be in great shape! I don't know how much one year old children weigh but I doubt he keeps growing at that rate. I've looked in the closet and have seen his clothes. We're going to need a lot more hand-me-downs if he's going to continue at this rate. I'll provide our address if you're interested.

Enjoy the picture. This one says I'm just bananas over mommy. You know no one is buying I'm nuts for Dad shirts or my dad is tops or orange you glad this guy is my dad?. What's up with that?