Stressing

Carrie had her visit to the doctor. I stayed at work to try and get my work life in order before an extended leave. I asked her to text me when she had some news and was in a meeting when the results came in. She was down a full point since Friday in fluid so I got pretty nervous. I thought for sure they would say it's go time. It's a little early to have the baby still so they want to wait as long as possible, which looks like it will be Wednesday. There are some risks delivering that early especially with the baby's lungs. We were told there is a chance the baby could end up in the NICU only because they may not be able to breathe on their own. When a baby is delivered naturally they get squeezed coming out and apparently that squeezes the fluid out of their lungs so they come out crying and breathing. When you have a C-section there isn't the same level of pressure so the baby doesn't get that spitting out of the fluid quite so fast. The lungs are also the last thing to develop and you can't tell on a ultrasound if they are ready to go or not so we may encounter breathing problems. Sheesh. All this and I have to pay for college?

Since Carrie had a high blood pressure reading today there was some concern for preeclampsia so she had some blood work a few blocks away at the hospital. New nurse, same joke, "I'm sorry you said you moved from Tampa to Cedar Rapids!? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" I'm gonna have to start wearing T-shirts that say don't mess with the Hoff or this is never going to end. Since we were already at the hospital she got her blood work done for pre-op as well. She's already wearing her hospital bracelet and will have to keep that on until Saturday when we get discharged. We spent about 5 hours total between the two offices.

After the blood work and paper work they began explaining how the day would go on Wednesday. No eating or drinking past midnight. If she doesn't adhere to that they can refuse to go forward and ask us to reschedule. That's a bummer because we need to be at the hospital by 10:30, procedure begins at noon and should last about 2 hours. After recovery if she's feeling better she may be able to eat dinner. She could end up going more than 24 hours with nothin' but ice chips. And that just doesn't seem fair.

The whole thing was rather nerve racking. You are more or less getting the run down of the worst case scenario at every step. Pretty close to the end I lost it. I am acutely aware this isn't about me but I just couldn't take the graphic nature of the conversation. I got white as a sheet, light headed, soaked my shirt through with sweat and was totally on my way to taking a header. Um, ya, that doesn't bode well for being in the room for surgery. The nurse had to get me a glass of water and wouldn't let me leave until my color returned. I don't know what it is. I think it's more like a panic attack. I think I'm just really worried about everything and Carrie was getting upset and it was all too much at once. It's a fairly common occurrence for people to pass out during these things and by people I mean dads. They told me the honest wusses up front, ahem me, usually are the ones that make it through and the macho dads are concussion bound. I think I am going to see if there is a YouTube video of a C-section so I can get used to seeing one hoping to rise to the occasion for the real event. I am determined to man up because this is much scarier for Carrie. Speaking of scary our kid is going to be born on the 13th! Of the month of Halloween!

We need to get our minds thinking about something else so we are going to work from home in the morning tomorrow and then head out to a movie or something relaxing that will allow us to veg out for a few hours. We'll probably spend some extra time with Quinny as they said it's not a great idea to have him in the hospital room the first night. We probably won't bring him to the hospital until Thursday afternoon. Carrie won't be able to pick him up and she'll have IVs and such so it may be a bit overwhelming for him.

It's a crazy whirlwind over here and everyday seems to get more stressful than the last. We just need to get through the next couple of days and see where we land. There are so many what if's my head is spinning and the stress is spiraling out of control. We both got about 3 hours of sleep last night freaking out. What about this? What about that? What if the kid comes out like this? It's just too much to take. So tonight we will try to relax a little bit. I'm teaching him how to spit sunflower seeds. It's extremely entertaining.

The caption for the picture. "Hello God? Soon to be big brother here. Yup, got the cheese I prayed for. Thanks! Can you make sure my lil' sis or bro comes out spectacularly healthy along with my mommy? Thanks! Love, Quentin."