Fitting In

As we continue to retrace our Midwestern roots we did what any new to Iowa person would do this past weekend.  Yup, we visited the ole' shootin' range.  Being a novice I wasn't too sure about this little adventure but my father assured me this would be a blast.  I'll bet.  I'm not afraid to walk into this place and let everyone know I don't know anything about bustin' a cap but my dad tells me to play it cool.  Sure, no problem.  I doubt they'll notice I know nothing about guns like how to load one.  We walk in cool as a cucumber checking out the cache or is it stash? of guns on the walls.  I'm doing my best to speak all the right lingo.  "Damn liberals!"  Well, I see there is the one the terrorists like to use (AK-47) and I see the one our marines like (M-16).  My dad re-fell in love with the beloved M-14 from his on-my-way-to-Vietnam days.  "Seriously, no seriously, I was accurate at 500 meters."  Uh-huh.  Me too!  Well, clearly that AR-15 is a deer rifle and a must have in any gun collection. Then we got to the hand guns.  Okay, sir I'll take that one. Ya, the shiny one with the long barrel.  Can you just load that sucker up and point me in the right direction?  We can just rent one of these right?  Suddenly, like a deer in headlights, the jig was up and we were exposed.  And I had such confidence.

Apparently, according to our gun toting host, the liberals up there in Milwaukee have made it so renting isn't so easy.  I guess a few poor souls have rented one of these blasting machines and taken their own life in the range.  Didn't see that conversation coming this weekend.  So, what's a couple of guys with a Wisconsin and a Florida driver's license to do in a gun shop in Iowa?  Well, get the scoop on how to illegally purchase a firearm of course!  It's deer season!  Okay, well, we are about to enter the realm of state line crossing gun smuggling rebels.  Hmm, maybe we should just head home and watch the football game.  What do you think?  It was at that point that our host realized we weren't going to shell out thousands for our second amendment rights or at least put that theory to the test.  Maybe the NRA could defend us.  And I was really looking forward to popping off a few rounds.  I hear it's a great way to relive stress.  In all seriousness you could choose a target that had a picture of Saddam on it.  Isn't he already dead? I really wanted to take a shot at Osama.

After the gun shop experience I enquired to my colleagues at work that I was attempting to assimilate into my new state but can't seem to grab a foothold.  Of course they were incredulous to my gun buying ignorance.  They tell me,"All you have to do is run down to the Sheriff's office and get a background check.  After paying for that you just need to fill out an application for a permit to purchase a weapon.  It's only about a two month process.  Once you've paid and procured one of those you can then go back to paranoid gun shop owner fill out another application, wait 7 days and by Easter you could be the proud owner of a Glock or a Sig-9," but after waiting so long you've probably already moved on to a new hobby like corn planting since it's spring.  Oh, and no duh?  Where did you grow up?

Quinny seems to be fairing a little better.  It's about 6:30 the other morning and I'm getting my briefcase together and he's finishing up breakfast in the kitchen.  I look over and he's chugging out of the milk carton. Now, I know he didn't see me do that because I'm allergic and don't drink milk.  Care?  That's what I thought.  I got a sweet picture.  It was hilarious to look up and see your not quite two year old chugging down some good old fashioned moo-juice.  Where did you grow up?  In a barn?  Just wait it could still happen. 

Gavin is growing like a little weed so it looks like he's taking after his big brother.  He weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces at his two week appointment last week.  That's a full pound and nearly a pound and a half since being released from the hospital.  Now, I know what all that crying is for in the middle of the night.  Ungry! Ungry! We have another child that snores the day away and screams all night - again.  Seriously?  Well, at least we know it can't get worse.  We are probably getting between 3-4 hours a sleep a night but it comes in roughly 45-70 minute increments.  Obviously, Carrie does the heavy lifting but do me a favor and set your alarm for every 50 minutes tonight and let me know how great you feel tomorrow.  Oh, right, you already had kids.  If you haven't do it soon before you get too old.

The top picture is of Gavin on weigh-in day.  You can see his giant paws.  Q slamming the milk and a victory shot for bragging rights.  Yes, Wisco won the bacon trophy.  We don't play Iowa for 3 more years. The next time Iowa has a shot at beating Wisconsin Quinny will be able to drive.