Roomba!

This Christmas we got an interesting gift.  For those of you that don't know our son loves cleaning.  I mean absolutely loves cleaning.  Give him a cloth and he's a dusting machine.  He wakes up in the morning and immediately runs to the closet to pull out the vacuum.  It's scary how much he loves to clean.  Is there anyway possible he will hang on to this fetish?  We've already discussed financing a successful janitorial business.  A recession proof janitorial business.  We have two vacuum's and Quinny received his very own for Christmas for a total of 3.  This Christmas we received an irobot roomba.  The whole concept is insane.  Really?  A robot is going to clean my house while I sit on my duff and watch football all day?  Really?  Come on man.  Wouldn't everyone already have one of these things?  We've been in love with a Dyson.  I mean look at this thing.  I am pretty sure if the astronauts need to vacuum their space shuttle this is what they use. But look at that price tag!?  You are definitely paying for the carbon fiber or tornado mechanism or German engineering of whatever makes that thing cost a month's paycheck.  Can one have vacuum envy?  Quinny can.

So we received the irobot roomba for Christmas.  We didn't know what to think. The concept sounded awesome.  If this thing was really going to clean my house while I went to work or simply invited people over and drank cocktails while watching it clean our house purely for entertainment than I imagine we would already have one or you would. Shouldn't you already have one?  So in the box it sat as we contemplated if such an invention could really exist.  As we pondered the technology of 2010-11 the days poured by. Finally, a Saturday arrived and I was on the floor playing with Lucky.  It was a dirty floor.  And then I looked under the couch. Wow, that was nasty.  We have a giant hairy dog and that is about 99% of the nastiness under the couch.  It was the kind of under the couch that if you stuck your arm under you may never get it back.  A nest of raccoons very well could've been living a pleasant little existence under there.  A moment of clarity.  A light bulb suddenly turning on and Aha!  We have a robot that wants to clean our house including under the couch, bed and other places one doesn't go without a haz-mat suit.

It was time.  It was time to see if the fantasy in a box, no not that fantasy, the cleaning fantasy was true.  It was really too simple.  I had to take it out of the box and press the button strangely labeled "clean."  What strides we have made Hoover!  This thing works.  I'm telling you I don't know how and I don't know why you don't have one but it works. And, and this really is the best part.  It's so cool you can have an actual cocktail party just to watch it clean your house.  Seriously, you can.  If you don't believe come over.  I'll provide a beer and you too can be memorized for hours.  You'll be sitting on the bar stool in the kitchen looking incredulous, while enjoying your adult beverage asking inane questions like, "So you really don't have to do anything?  It just cleans your whole house while you sit here?"  Yup.  "It doesn't get stuck, run out of batteries or suck up your cords it runs over?" Nope.  "So you just sit here and have a beer while it runs watching the Packers make their way into the NFC Championship?"  Yup.  "How come I don't have one?"  Exactly.

This is great right?  I mean what about this story isn't great?  It turns out our son, the same son that adores cleaning is deathly and I mean deathly afraid of Mr. irobot cleans the house while you sit on your duff vacuum cleaner.  Noooooooooooooooo!  Say it ain't so!  He won't step foot on the ground.  It's not even on anymore and he won't get off the couch - for 2 hours!  He's shaking.  He's crying.  He's not happy about a robot doing the chores.  Ironically, Lucky, didn't even notice.  The dog is sleeping on the floor while the vacuum walks right up to him (walk is the right word right?) and starts vacuuming his hair.  Are you saying this thing stops vacuuming the floors to groom my dog?  Seriously, we're ready to buy another one.

I'm crushed.  I don't even know what to do.  I was so cynical such a thing could exist and I now I'm a believer, a sponsor and my kid, my wonderful kid who is so passionate about cleaning says thanks but no thanks?  Why is life so unfair?  Why do the cleaning gods mock me?  How can I possibly get around this?

When one discovers such a wonderful tool they don't sit idly by.  They don't let cleaning fantasies slip through their fingers like sand. They get creative.  They bribe their children like any good parent would.  So I offered up cookies - just to touch it. I'll give you a cookie if you touch the vacuum.  Nope.  He wasn't buying it. But he really wanted that cookie.  Minutes passed than hours. He still wanted that cookie.  What does my little genius of a boy do?  He goes downstairs and grabs the traditional vacuum.  I'm touch it Daddy!  I'm touching it! Cookie?!?  You've got to be kidding me!?  Outsmarted by a two year old.  Fine.  Here's your cookie, but we're keeping it anyway. We've resigned to run it while he's at school.  Buy one. Seriously, you'll love it.